With all of the new dating apps and websites out there, finding a first date isn’t as hard as it used to be. But the second date can be so much more elusive: if you’re not feeling “it” from the get-go, does that mean you shouldn’t bother with a second date? Or should you give your date another chance?

Dating expert Laura Bilotta weighs in.


1. Did you feel a connection? Did you get the proverbial butterflies? Was there significant eye contact, maybe with a shy smile, or a touch on the hand that lingered a bit? This is chemistry, and clearly indicates interest. You should definitely go on a second date – but you already knew that.

2. How long did the first date last? Statistics show that the longer a first date lasts, the better the chances are for a second. It shows you have common interests and a lot to talk about: that’s a very good reason to see each other again.

3. Did conversation flow easily, like you’ve known each other forever? Did you laugh? Did you feel like you were the only two people in the room? That’s a great first date and definitely merits at least a second.

4. How did the date end? Was there a kiss? A hug? Plans for a second date? If so, do it! Even if it was a bit awkward, you will both be more at ease on the second date.

5. Finally, what does your gut say? Does the thought of a second date fill you with anticipation? Do you find yourself imagining what you’d wear or talk about? Your gut is an excellent barometer. If it says yes, trust it.


1. Was your date paying more attention to the people around you or checking their phone repeatedly? Aside from being just plain rude, this indicates a lack of interest or somebody who is not looking for an exclusive relationship.

2. Are they incessantly bragging or talking only about themselves? This person wants an audience – not a date.

3. Do you have anything in common? The old adage “opposites attract” doesn’t always apply. If you don’t have much in common it’s going to be hard to find things to talk about on a second date, let alone anything beyond that.

4. Was there a lot of talk about a previous relationship? This indicates they are not over their previous relationship and you don’t want to compete with a ghost.

5. Has there been any contact since the first date? If you didn’t get a followup call or text, you may want to cut your losses and move on.

Remember: Sometimes we’re too self-conscious on a first date to notice these signs. We’re not sure if our date was staring deep into our eyes or if we had something in our teeth. This is normal.

According to a 2015 match.com survey, 59 per cent of people don’t expect to feel butterflies on the first date – they consider the second date to be the ‘real first date.’ So unless your first date was horrid and you have zero interest in ever seeing that person again, it’s definitely worth going out on a second date. You’ve got nothing to lose and, potentially, a whole lot to gain.